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The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade, by Ann Fess
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In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade. An adoptee who was herself surrendered during those years and recently made contact with her mother, Ann Fessler brilliantly brings to life the voices of more than a hundred women, as well as the spirit of those times, allowing the women to tell their stories in gripping and intimate detail.
- Sales Rank: #33365 in Books
- Brand: Fessler, Ann
- Published on: 2007-06-26
- Released on: 2007-06-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .80" w x 5.40" l, .73 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 362 pages
- Women's Studies
- Adoption
- The Girls Who Went Away
- Ann Fessler
From Publishers Weekly
Nobody ever asked me if I wanted to keep the baby," says Joyce, in a story typical of the birth mothers, mostly white and middle-class, who vent here about being forced to give up their babies for adoption from the 1950s through the early '70s. They recall callous parents obsessed with what their neighbors would say; maternity homes run by unfeeling nuns who sowed the seeds of lifelong guilt and shame; and social workers who treated unwed mothers like incubators for married couples. More than one birth mother was emotionally paralyzed until she finally met the child she'd relinquished years earlier. In these pages, which are sure to provoke controversy among adoptive parents, birth mothers repeatedly insist that their babies were unwanted by society, not by them. Fessler, a photography professor at the Rhode Island School of Design, is an adoptee whose birth mother confessed that she had given her away even though her fiancé, who wasn't Fessler's father, was willing to raise her. Although at times rambling and self-pitying, these knowing oral histories are an emotional boon for birth mothers and adoptees struggling to make sense of troubled pasts. (May 8)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From Bookmarks Magazine
Perhaps it's no surprise that this story has gone untold for so long, considering the personal nature of the subject and the moral dilemma heaped upon the young women who gave their babies up for adoption. What is astonishing is that Fessler, a photographer and video installation artist writing her debut book, manages to tell this compelling story with a perfectly honed sense of restraint and respect. She handles the large volume of source material nimbly, letting each individual story breathe. The only complaint is that her research method—using a self-selected group—isn't up to snuff for academic rigor. In the face of such glowing critical praise, that lone complaint seems, well, a little academic.
Copyright © 2004 Phillips & Nelson Media, Inc.
From Booklist
*Starred Review* Between 1945 and 1973, when unwed motherhood was considered shameful and abortion was generally illegal, 1.5 million babies were relinquished for adoption. Fessler, who was herself adopted, offers an incredible and deeply moving look at the personal cost suffered by the women who gave up their babies, voluntarily and involuntarily. More than 100 women spoke to Fessler about the shame of unwed pregnancy compounded with the guilt over giving away the child as well as the life of secrecy and lies thereafter. Many of the young women were temporarily banished from their communities, sent away to maternity schools to deliver their babies, and then returned to what was supposed to be "normal" life. But for many, the experience changed forever their relationships with their parents, the fathers of their babies, and subsequent husbands and children. Years later, many of the women struggled with the question of reuniting with their children as laws on adoption and social mores changed. Fessler recounts her own journey to find and reunite with her birth mother in this heartrending look at the untold story of American women compelled to surrender their children. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Tells it like it was!
By Deeny
I am of the generation affected, I remember girls who went away. The ones I knew seemed far different after they returned to school. And the rumors always went around anyways. I guess the girl's parents always thought they were keeping everything hush-hush. Yet sometimes the girl herself would return to school and tell her close friends where she had actually been. And of course, those friends told other friends, and those friends told... Sometimes the boy involved would leave school also. Especially if he or his parents didn't want him to be pressured into a quickie wedding.
This very well written book accurately tells it like it was. The saddest part of all of it is that there still remain children and birth parents who have never met. I had a good friend who was a victim of this. And I say victim because I believe far too many of the children grew up with an internal feeling of having been abandoned - no matter how wonderful the adoptive parents were. Plus the unfortunate reality of life is that all adoptive parents are not wonderful, any more than all birth parents are wonderful.
This is a worthwhile read for anyone who wants to get a clear picture of what the world was like for women pre "Women's lib".
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
If you know one of "The Girls Who Went Away", this is a must read!
By Mr. 76
it is unbelievable that teenagers in a First World country were treated this way. Personal story after personal story, the horrors of getting pregnant too early in life or out of wedlock are told. Lots of behaviorial rules on this. Even so, sex edcation was not taught by parents or school. Girls and boys were left to figure it out for themselves. Girls who have sex outside of the rules get taught a very special lesson. The boys, maybe not.
The lesson taught.
You were BAD! You are a loser. You should feel ashamed. Remember before you got pregnant? You were supposed to be truthful? If you were Catholic, you confessed to the priest that you told a lie. Let's confuse this 'truthful' concept from now on. From this moment on, you will be a liar. Your PARENTS now tell you that you you must tell your friends, family, school, ... that you're going away to school for a semester... Or that you felt like living with your cousins in Alabama or somewhere. Tell the lie. Deny deny deny. And to make our point very clear to you, and to punish you, we're taking your firstborn baby from you.
Guess what? That lesson becomes indellible in a teenage girl. The lies and denyals continue. And guess what else? They NEVER forget about the baby. EVER! ... Except with the assistance of drugs or alcohol.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Very insightful. Being adopted in 1970
By Deb Chaban
Very insightful. Being adopted in 1970 this book shed light on the truth of the "baby drop" era when young girls were coerced by so-called Christian faith workers and parents to give up their babies so as not to buck the "status quo". Catholic nuns, priest, and social agency workers (as well as the same of other faiths) should be ashamed of themselves for the way they treated the natural mothers and lied to the natural mothers and subsequently blocked (and still block) the adopted person from finding their true roots. I feel that those who hate and do wrong in the name of Christ/God are the worst kinds of people. I don't want to hear that the adoption workers didn't know any better. As a human with feeling you have to know better which is why I feel that they kept everything around the adoption so hush hush. All that being said I love my adoptive parents but have struggled my whole life with my adopted status. Also, people who aren't adopted should never comment on how an adopted person should or shouldn't feel about matters. Book was a good read and worth the price.
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